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Miss Jolie: *picks up the tiny punk rock child to hug her*
Miss Jolie: Sweetie, what’s jammed up your nose?
Tiny Punk Rock Child: I dunno! *hops down to blow her nose*
Tiny Punk Rock Child: Corn.
Miss Jolie: How did you get a kernel of corn up your nose?
Tiny Punk Rock Child: I dunno!
Miss Jolie: What did you have for lunch?
Tiny Punk Rock Child: Corn.
Miss Jolie: And you got it stuck up your nose?
Tiny Punk Rock Child: Just the one piece.

I love this kid. Also of note, when Grammy came to pick her up last week, Grammy had also put purple streaks in her hair. I want them to adopt me.

We have a message of the day board. Right before lunch the entire class gets together, does some work, and reads the message of the day.

I have nothing to do with this. In fact, I have blocked the fact that it even exists from my mind.

When I do look at it, I see temptation, because the Lead Teacher doesn’t really pay attention to what it says until it is time to read it.

One day I am going to snap and the message of the day will take a decidely revolutionary spin.

“Okay, kids, what does our Message of the Day say?”

“Caaaapitaliiism iiiis the prooooblem.”

It’s been three hours and still no cookies falling from the sky.

I remain hopeful, though.

1. How do you feel right now?
“I just want a little passion to hold me in the dark”
Take To the Sky – Tori Amos

2. Describe the past year.
“it’s a perfect day for letting go
for setting fire to bridges
boats
and other dreary worlds you know
let’s get happy!
it’s a perfect day for making out
to wake up with a smile without a doubt
to burst grin giggle bliss skip jump and sing and shout
let’s get happy!”
Doing The Unstuck – The Cure

3. What do you see happening next year?
“I’ve seen the Future, brother. It is murder.”
The Future – Leonard Cohen

4. Describe your friends.
“Get cool and casual. Get really sent. Dig some cruel and unusual punishment. Let’s get fucked up.”
Let’s Get Fucked Up – The Cramps

5. What are your views on :
God.
“God, sometimes you just don’t come through.”
God – Tori Amos

Government.
“Everybody knows that the dice are loaded
Everybody rolls with their fingers crossed
Everybody knows that the war is over
Everybody knows the good guys lost
Everybody knows the fight was fixed
The poor stay poor, the rich get rich
That’s how it goes
Everybody knows”
Everybody Knows – Concrete Blonde (Leonard Cohen cover)

Love.
“But I’m glad you’ve come around
here with your animals
And your heart that is bruised but bleating
And bleeding like a lamb”
Cannibal’s Hymn – Nick Cave

Drugs
“Some of your sicker saints
You sit around and you nurse your hive
The richest junkie still alive”
Richest Junkie Still Alive – Machines of Loving Grace

Booze
“I’ll hide my behavior with wine as my savior.”
Marry Me – Emilie Autumn

6. How do you think the world sees you?
“Then you love a little wild one
And she brings you only sorrow
All the time you know shes smilin’
You’ll be on your knees tomorrow”
Do It Again – Tori Amos (Steely Dan Cover)

7. What are YOUR plans for next year?
“I’ll go where the machine goes.”
So long, Superman. – Firewater

8. Describe yourself.
“you fucked up, it’s easy to see,
but i don’t know what that has to do with me
cause i’m knocked down and ready to fight
if you think i’m crazy then you’re god damned right”
Temptation – Sister Machine Gun

9. Describe your romantic relationships?
“here i am expecting just a little bit
too much from the wounded.
but i see through it all
and see you.”
3 Libras – A Perfect Circle

10. What makes you happy?
“I dyed my hair red today!”
Take To the Sky – Tori Amos

It’s amazing how agreeable I am when I haven’t seen my kids for two weeks.

Here is a list of things that straight rock.

-About two weeks ago, I was made breakfast in bed. This, I feel the need to mention, is the shit. If you have never had this, find someone to do it for you immediately. Even better, buck up and do it for someone else. It’s worth it. Make someone you love feel like the only person in the universe for thirty minutes.

-This morning, the little girl who was concerned with my skinned knee looked at me and, out of nowhere, said, “If someone isn’t nice, I’m not going to marry him.” I told her that sounded like a very reasonable decision and she went back to drawing. All of me desperately wants her to remember she said that for the rest of her life.

-This afternoon, the tiny punk rock child said, “I like princesses.” I gave her the answer I give to anything they say, which is “Why?” (Hey, it’s a simple question and it forces people to think things through. Good when you are five.) She said “Princesses are pretty girls,” and every little feminist warning bell I had just went off. I said, “All girls are pretty girls,” and stopped because at four, who needs to hear about The Beauty Myth. She said “Princesses are special.” I said, “All people are special.” She trotted off to do her own thing after that (she is, to be honest, a space cadet, which is why I love her) and I went on break. When I came back from break she said, “Oh oh oh! Princesses wear dresses and legging and boots and they are loud. Because I SAID so!” This is even funnier because she and I were dressed nearly identically in…a dress and leggings and boots. When I brought this up to her she said “That’s because we rock,” threw the metal horns at me and then trotted away again. I consider this a small victory in the world.

Okay, I have all this time up but now I suck at updating.

I’ve mostly been sleeping. Who knew that being a teacher would leave me utterly exhausted for two weeks. I can’t wait to get back to work on Monday and get sick!

New Years Eve rocked my ass off. Good food, nice and low key. Good Christmas. New shade of red hair. Looking into PhD programs.

Win/Win all around, really.

Jolie’s Inner Beyonce: If you like it then you shoulda put a riiing on it.
Josh: I put a ring on it! You gave it back!
Jolie’s Inner Beyonce: Oh, that’s okay then!

(My adoration of Beyonce is really a bit upsetting. I know. But you must not know ’bout me.)

My personal interactions have gone from this to this in the space of like six months…

You know, a lady could get used to that kind of treatment.

Of course, if you see any ladies around my place, let me know so I can have them caught and shot.

I went to the mall on Saturday to get some christmas shopping done. Today, I woke up with a stuffy nose and a tiny fever. Just enough to make work impossible.

Horray for chicken soup and saltines.

This is totally worth it, because I now own a pair of panties that say “Bad Boys Love Me” and…matching skull pasties.

Does it get any better than that? Maybe only if it came with a box of cookies.